Beard Care

10 Things not to do with your beard

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1. No ‘Jersey Shore’ topiary

The most important rule you must remember. Your beard didn’t do anything wrong to deserve this kind of a treatment. Maybe Ludacris has forgotten but the internet remembers his fire beard attempt that turned out ridiculous. Unfortunately, there are a lot more examples out there but I don’t want to expose you to more of this “beard” style. Once again, don’t forget this rule. Ever.


2. Don’t mess with the “Soul”

So-called “the mouche” or best known as the soul patch, whatever the name, it isn’t a particularly beautiful style. No matter what, Frank Zappa Rocks!


3. Say NO to the goatee

Pubic hair on your face. That’s the only way to describe this style often seen on single slightly drunken men in bars. In the other hand, if yo do want a vagina over your face then go for it.


4. Don’t be lazy

For a beard to look good, you must trim the beard. For a beard to look great, you must nurture the beard. Follow these 2 steps and everything will be OK. Otherwise, you’ll end up looking like Matthew McConaughey. The look of a man who has given up.


5. You shall not accessorize your beard

Not with ornaments, not with beads or bands. Because it looks stupid. Period.

beard ornaments

6. Clean your beard

I presume that men wouldn’t keep cereal and toys in their beard like Zach Galifianakis in this photo. But then again, there are a lot of people out there. Don’t be one of those guys with sauce on the mustache and crumbs in their beard. I don’t want to see your lunch leftovers. Spare a couple of minutes to clean your beard after a meal or foamy drink. It’s better for you and the environment.


7. No sharp edges

Goatee mixed with pointy ends? A Van Dyke as its known and a very pickedevant style if I may add.  A look that cannot be established by many, except the ones who look like Pierce Brosnan.


8. No “Chinstraping” 

By far the most obnoxious style you can choose. A style that Santa’s elves wore. But I’ll admit that on some dudes it can look OK. However, if you already chose this you can follow this guide for more info how not to look ridiculous.


9. Don’t go gorilla on the neckbeard

Shave your beard until you can see your neck. You don’t want beard connecting to your chest hair.

10. Don’t over shave the cheeks

The defining moment of a beard is the line that connects the sideburn to the mustache. If you’re the fuller type, then dropping the line to low will emphasize your cheeks.


When in doubt beard it out! If you don't know how, make sure to follow my blog, cuz I'm just another bearded man in this World.

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