Having a beard is a sign—perhaps THE sign—of being the manliest of men.
Using fragrance perfumes is a sign of being the most feminine of women. Unless, of course, we’re talking about our beards.
Of course, I’m hardly making the recommendation that you specifically use a shampoo that has the fragrance of apple blossoms and lilacs… I’m just saying it’s not the worst thing you could do. The real point of this article is not what your shampoo and conditioner smell like, but that you use them, and that they contribute to the already intimidating appeal of your beard.
Women put a great deal of care into how their hair feels and smells. Men may think more about the appearance, from afar, but when you’re up close and personal with someone of the fairer sex, does the scent and lusciousness of her locks not amp up her appeal? Of course it does.
Yet, we are rarely as up close and personal with a woman’s hair as she might be with your beard. Of course, those rare occasions are delightful, but we’re not turning this blog into an x-rated account…
The first goodnight kiss—no, scratch that—the first nuzzle, the first time she leans in close, those moments put the beard on display, not only to the eyes but to the nose as well. Women are mesmerized by beards, and they undoubtedly reach for them more than they do for the clean-shaven face.
Manly men may prefer that their beard smells of yesterday’s steak and be as rough as a barbed wire fence. I assure you that those gentle, soft beings—the very ones we hope will become entranced by our formidable facial hair—do not seek the aroma of leftover beef nor the abrasiveness of the same brillo pad which they used to clean the cast iron pan upon which that beef was seared.
And so, men, I urge you: Shampoo and condition your faces.
What Do Shampoo and Conditioner Do?
There are three primary purposes involved in using these—as the ladies dub them—“products.” There is a fourth, which I will address after we cover the three primary purposes of using beard shampoos and conditioners:
Now, for the first of these points, you may argue that your Irish Spring or Ivory Soap is effective enough. And you are most certainly correct. In fact, you could use almost any soap to great effect to attain this effect. You could use Mr. Clean, which I don’t recommend, due to its dubious effects upon one’s skin, but nonetheless, it would be effective. However, let’s consider whether or not we wish to take the cleaning advice of a man who apparently has no bodily hair aside from his eyebrows. I thought not.
We must, however, consider cleanliness in general, both because of our desire to avoid acne as well as our desire to present beards in all of their glory—a glory which should be sparklingly clean, and shampoo, which is, may I remind you, a cleaning product designed specifically to worship and support the integrity of hair, can accomplish.
Let’s return to the nuzzle, the whisper, and the goodnight kiss. Undoubtedly, those of you that court those who desire a man with a delicious fragrance wear cologne. (Those of you that don’t, well… your partner may be less than intriguingly scented themselves, and I am not sure how to relate to someone who can tolerate a stale smelling individual.) You’re quite willing to spray chemicals on your neck in order to lure your lover—yet the part of you she is likely to become close to first is your glorious beard. To have the beard serve as her introduction to the delights you may later offer her is not only polite, it is simply practical.
It is understandable that a man, manly enough to grow a truly impressive beard may not be well educated in regards to hair products, but it would behoove him to become so. And there are many masculine shampoo and conditioner scents available, which would no doubt enhance the fragrance profile of one’s cologne.
- Beard Growing Guide
- Beard Grooming Guide For The Modern Beardsmen
- Beard Trimming Guide for Different Styles and Lengths
- Beard Styles Gallery
- Choose Your Beard Style According To Your Face Shape
- How Long Does It Take To Grow A Beard?
- How to Grow A Thicker Beard?
Perhaps one of the best rewards of having a beard, when it comes to interacting with women, is the way that their hands are drawn to it. Without even buying a woman a drink at the bar, you may find yourself the subject of stroking—your face, at least. Shampoo and conditioner will only increase this. The certain kind of conditioner I use is beard oil, and you should also use it religiously if you are not already. Use the beard oil just the same way that you would use your regular hair conditioner. Beard oil in the shower and finish it off with some balm after you have completed your shower and dried off, provide a certain surface softness that women are helpless to ignore.
The Real Reason You Should Shampoo and Condition
These are, of course, reasons which offer enormous appeal. But the most important reason you should utilize shampoo and conditioner is this:
They will prolong and improve the life of your beard. In general, soaps will dry out your beard, so make sure that you are conditioning your beard after it is washed. Our beard oil has been literally engineered in order to repair, soften, and strengthen hair.
Pro Tip: Use shampoos with no artificial fragrances and low pH values, like baby shampoos.
Not so with soaps. Perhaps it seems counterintuitive to use “product” on one’s most manly of facial adornments, but how can that be if such products actually elevate that adornment?
I would never suggest that a gloriously bearded man put aside his pride—on the contrary, pride is one of the most desirable attributes of the bearded man.
What I would ask is that he consider well the practical purposes of his pride, and perhaps learn to amend his prejudices in order to do his pride justice. In this particular case, yes, shampoo your beard, indulging in sweetly scented suds and a moisturizing treatment can do just that. This is not about being less manly—it is about the best possible presentation of one’s manliness. Just don’t forget to condition it.